


Safe

by avio



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Anxiety, Anxiety Attacks, Cuddling & Snuggling, F/F, Hurt/Comfort, Kissing, Self-Indulgent, Sleepy Cuddles, Sweet
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-09
Updated: 2016-08-09
Packaged: 2018-08-07 19:00:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,378
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7726060
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/avio/pseuds/avio
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>She'd just been a little lonely, her mother at work late again, and she just wanted to see her girlfriend (oh my god?) and maybe study. She hadn't expected the anxiety attack, the worsening stutter, the fidgeting fingers threatening to scratch her skin. She hadn't expected breaking down right there, right in front of Kiyoko, all that was wrong with her laid out for the beautiful girl to see.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Safe

**Author's Note:**

> jesus fuckign christ i'd like to apologize for the unbelievable amount of projecting i've done on poor Yachi like lol wow. also this is supposed to take place at the beginning of their relationship so like maybe a month in or something? yeah ;u;;;;; i hope you enjoy. also if it seems a little??? it's bc it started out as two different stories and then i kinda... smushed them together. so.

 

Though she tried her hardest not to, it was easy for Hitoka to become unbearably lonely while her mother was at work, or off on a business trip. Often, she didn't really know what to do with herself, other than maybe working on her homework, or reading, or flipping through the unsatisfactory channels on TV.

It was unfortunate, but she was used to it, whether she actually liked it or not.

Which is why, as anxious as it was at first, she was glad to have made a few friends ( _and a girlfriend???)_ since being recruited as a manager for the volleyball club. Especially because Shouyou was always so talkative, even over text, which was nice for keeping company, for the most part.

Sometimes, however it felt a little more daunting, and she wished she could be around someone, even if people initially made her nervous. Usually when this happened, she could find a way to spend time with Shouyou, but he was over at Kageyama's that night, and was ignoring his phone.

Which brought her to her current predicament of staring down at Kiyoko's name in her phone.

Kiyoko, who was soft and beautiful and admirable. Kiyoko, who was kind and gentle and quiet. Kiyoko, with pretty black hair and gorgeous eyes and a small smile that caused butterflies to erupt in Hitoka's tummy. Kiyoko, whom Hitoka could barely believe had even asked her out.

For the umpteenth time, Hitoka tapped on the send button without actually pressing it, staring at a text message that had been written and rewritten and rewritten yet again. Lip worried between her teeth, heart pounding, she kept looking over the simple message, a mere greeting, somehow that much scarier to send, despite her being her girlfriend _(?!?)._

She yelped when she actually did manage to press the send button, fumbled her phone, felt her heart drop when she actually got a response. It would seem that Kiyoko was going to come over, to study, to hang out. Kiyoko was going to be in her home, filling it up with how perfect she was. Hitoka curled up, burying her face in her hands. _Oh, god, I'm so gay._

_~_

Hitoka figured that there couldn't be anything more embarrassing than this. Not in a hundred million years.

She'd just been a little lonely, her mother at work late again, and she just wanted to see her girlfriend ( _oh my god?_ ) and maybe study. She hadn't expected the anxiety attack, the worsening stutter, the fidgeting fingers threatening to scratch her skin. She hadn't expected breaking down right there, right in front of Kiyoko, all that was wrong with her laid out for the beautiful girl to see.

“I-I'm sorry, I'm s-so sorry, oh my god,” she babbled, swallowing as she felt herself get dizzy, fingernails tapping.

Kiyoko's gaze was open, nowhere near judgmental. “What is it that you need? This?” She cautiously reached for Hitoka's hands, quietly asking if this was okay.

“Y-you c-c-can if you w-want to, b-b-but you don't ha-have to! I-It's alright!” She waved her hands, as if to say, no, it's okay. Kiyoko laced their fingers regardless, could feel the trembling against her palms. Hitoka was trying to draw into herself, shoulders at her ears, ribcage shaking. Kiyoko gently pulled her away from the desk, over to the couch to sit with her.

“Is it alright if I hold you, Yachi-san? Would that make you feel better?”

Hitoka nodded, swallowing down tears, eyes large and imploring. Kiyoko's hands trailed up her arms, settling at her shoulders and carefully bringing her close. “P-p-please?”

_This, right now, this is safe._

Kiyoko's words were soothing, as were the long fingers gently combing through Hitoka's hair as she let herself settle against the older girl's chest. She sighed, breathing in the smell of rain and warm laundry and clean skin, eyelashes fluttery as she tried to relax. “I-I'm sorry, I didn't want you t-t-to see m-me like this. It's emb-b- _barrassing_.”

“It's alright, you know. If I'm around when this happens. I don't mind trying to help you calm down.” Her voice was low, and Hitoka could feel the vibration in her chest, cheek cushioned amongst soft skin and soft material and soft words.

Hitoka exhaled, breath shuddering and wet, fingers twitching around the fabric of Kiyoko's blouse. “I-I don't want to be a bother. Y-you probably have things to do, better things th-than coming to, um, make sure I'm not lonely i-in the f-f-first place. N-not that I d-don't appreciate it! I do!” She went to lift her head, to ask forgiveness, only to feel Kiyoko's hand gently guiding it back down before resuming her ministrations.

“Shh, Yachi-san. It's okay, I promise. You're safe.” Kiyoko's other hand gently cupped Hitoka's, fingers intertwined. “You're safe, and you're not a bother.” She kissed the top of her head, and Hitoka gave a quiet sound of contentment, shakiness not as prevalent as before.

“I-I'm sorry.”

“It's okay. You don't need to apologize.” With this, her fingers slipped through Hitoka's hair, gently cupping her chin and bringing her face up so she could kiss her, sweetly, gently. “I love you, Yachi-san.”

Hitoka felt her face light up, warmth spreading over her cheeks. “I love you too, Shimizu-senpai!” How could she not, when this beautiful, gentle woman was here, comforting her, ironing out anxiety and loneliness with soft touches and warm fingers and soothing kisses.

Kiyoko smiled fondly, kissing her again, lips lingering a little longer this time. “Are you feeling a little better?” Her voice was so quiet, but so was the room, and Hitoka could hear just fine.

“Mhm,” she responded, eyes on Kiyoko's. “Thank you.” She gave a kiss of her own, shyly nipping at Kiyoko's bottom lip.

Kiyoko chuckled, humming as she pressed another kiss at the corner of Hitoka's mouth, her cheek, her nose, her eye. The smaller girl started to giggle, shoulders scrunched up and eyes closed. “S-sorry!” She flinched a little at her own repetitiveness, embarrassed that she's always apologizing, doesn't know how to stop--

“It's alright,” Kiyoko responded, smiling lips pressed against her forehead. “You're okay.” And Kiyoko never lost patience, never told her to stop apologizing, just told her it was okay and accepted it.

Hitoka made a contented sound, ducking to nuzzle against her girlfriend's neck, lips buzzing against her skin. She could feel emotion welling up in her chest, filling her to the brim. “You're so kind and so soft, Senpai.” She kissed just where her neck met her collar bone. “Gosh, I might even fall asleep here.”

“It'd be okay if you did. I'm not going anywhere, Yacchan.” She settled against the back of the couch a little more, making herself more comfortable, long legs tangled with Hitoka's. “You're safe with me. I promise.”

“Ahh, Senpai!” Lashes brushed against her neck, wet and fluttering. “I love you so much!” Hitoka's hands gripped the material of her shirt at her sides, fingers twitching and tapping. Kiyoko wrapped her arms around her, trying to pull her closer as if it were possible, wishing she could do away with any fright Hitoka felt, wishing to protect her always, hoping she could feel how much she loved her in her embrace. She began to hum, something stuck in her head but quieter.

“'M really gonna fall asleep, Senpai,” Hitoka mumbled, fingers relaxing, breathing slow. Kiyoko said nothing, only smiled and continued to hum, drawing patterns on Hitoka's upper back. She pressed another kiss against the top of her head, breathing in shampoo, mouthing at hair.

Hitoka was completely limp, and Kiyoko could hear her steady exhales, her own eyes fluttering closed. It wasn't long before they were both fast asleep, completely wrapped up in each other.

~

**teensy tiny omake:**

Madoka Yachi certainly hadn't figured she'd find her daughter curled up in the arms of another girl when she got home, but here she was, and she looked so at peace and comfortable. There was a conversation to be had here, but this would happen later. For now, she was just going to drape a blanket over the two, smiling as she anticipated meeting this new girl in her daughter's life, content that she seemed to be taking care of her so far.

 

**Author's Note:**

> tumblr is thescarletmama wow surprise :'D <3 i write so much iwaoi but surprise i really love lesbians


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